There are different kinds of people in this world.
I can classify them into 2 categories.
Good guys and bad guys.
If you just look them quickly.
You can hardly tell
a good guy from a bad guy.
Some seem like good guys.
But turn out to be bad guys gradually.
Some guys seem bad,
while in fact they are good.
And some of them are somewhere between good and evil.
Not easy, right?
From past to present, we all know that
good guys go to heaven after death
while bad guys would go to hell.
But the world has become more complicated though.
Listen.
I am the Senior Inspector,
Wong Kai Fat of East Kowloon.
Don't come in! I am gonna kill her!
- Don't! - Would you guys please surrender?
Don't waste our time.
And I wanna go home
to catch the ending of a TV series.
Your mother is the one I love.
Damn it!
Did you call our "Super Detective"?
Yes, he's coming!
Sir, it's my fault that
I also sent it to Johnny by mistake.
What the hell?
My name is Johnny Doo. From age 18 till now.
Everyday before I leave home,
my parent would argue...
What they argued about this morning is that my daddy is gay.
Sometimes, I think it's meaningless for me to live on.
2km/h, 8000rpm
Super Detective!...
Awesome.
Sir.
Officer Wong.
What information do you have?
Those gangsters are fierce.
They got 5 hostages.
They are armed with machine guns and Aks.
They will kill anyone who enters, it won't be easy.
Don't worry, let me handle it.
Thanks, Madam Wong.
Johnny is here, sir.
Vest.
- No need. - Give the order, sir.
Go to the restaurant next door.
Are there gangsters in that restaurant?
No.
"Super" just moved in, it will be over soon.
Johnny, please help me out.
You make a big mess every time.
I will be retiring soon, I don't want to mess everything before I leave.
Sir, "Super" is coming out.
So fast.
Excuse me, Excuse me.
Hero! are you alright?
Hero...
It hurts...
Sure, it really hurts.
It really is my heart.
I am still worrying about something.
Don't worry, I will take care of your family.
Remember...
Remember... help me...
Help me...
to recharge the parking meter.
Hero!
Johnny.
Why can't all the bad guys on Earth be killed?
My dream is being a cop.
In fact, I want to join G4 to protect the Chief Executive.
It's a dream job for me.
However, I am too short,
I went through hell to become a cop.
I try my best to catch every criminal I come across.
I want to prove that even short guys can be good cops.
And it's my honor
to die in the line of my duty.
I have.
Shit!
Stop that!
Or I Will kill you, ok?
You have no more bullets though.
It will also be 3 on 1.
Yeah.
Double fist.
You're cheating
I'm just imagining this,
this is now happening...
Double fist.
Even if I solve a case, I will not get a promotion.
Thanks.
Let me handle the media.
- Say something. - Everybody.
Today, under my leadership,
all the gangsters involved got arrested.
Death is coming?
What are you looking at?
Look!
What?
The sissy in white.
What sissy?
Are you nuts?
Am I dying?
You are still alive now.
But I am not sure about later.
Don't you remember you applied for a leave for today?
You have to attend your girlfriend's birthday party, right?
You're gonna be a dead meat if you don't go now.
If love sleeps deeply in your heart
and drifts out in ripples
but it can't fill up your emptiness,
don't push yourself too hard.
God will lead you in a happy direction.
Because of God's love,
there's a long queue in the heaven.
Welcome...
For someone who's been bad in his lifetime.
If he repents before his death,
God will lead him to heaven.
Father...
I was wrong, Father...
God will forgive you and pardon your sin.
And now there's no one in hell.
You don't believe it, let me show you.
Come on.
Come and check it out.
Hell is good.
You can enjoy clubbing and drunken driving.
You can also freely curse the Chief Executive.
I can do that in Hong Kong too.
Mrs. Devil, cut it out.
Everyone has a 3,000 sq. ft. Luxury apartment in heaven now.
And the re-facing service is free.
A guy can become handsome.
A girl can become beautiful.
No one's gonna come here, Mrs. Devil.
Angel Jim, you don't have to say that.
Damn it...
To me...
you can use your middle finger.
Ha...
- You... - What?
Remember, I am an angel.
No one would believe that I would curse you.
Ha...
Even the devil gets bullied? What a pity!
Asshole.
Saying that my car got taken over for catching thieves, it's cheating.
- I will file a complaint for this. - Thank you... Thanks for...
- working for the people of Hong Kong. - Damn police.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to Angel.
- Shit! - Happy...
They are already singing the birthday song.
...birthday to you.
Johnny is here.
Happy birthday to you...
No need, the candles got blown already.
That means it's time for present and cake.
Give everyone some cake.
Sorry, I have something to work on today, so...
I know you are busy...
There's some hidden danger.
Busy...
Do I need to write a will?
Don't worry, it's ok.
It's past 12 already.
Let's play a game.
Can't I join?
Today is my birthday, you have to play.
It's over.
Open it.
What is it?
I have been thinking for so long
to buy you a present so that
you will always think of me.
Then I decided
to give you this.
Then you will never forget about me.
How?
Take off your clothes.
So many people here.
- Take it off. - Everyone is here.
Take it off.
I will take it off for sure.
Let go.
I know that it's time
to trim you up.
So nice.
It's not done yet.
It's been wrapped really nice.
No need to add anything on it.
Tin foil also?
What are you doing?
Jingle bells, Jingle bells. Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride. In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, Jingle bells. Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride. In a one horse open sleigh
Now... Will you remember?
Everything.
You were late tonight, so you have to pay
for the champagne.
I will pay for that...
Let's do the other side.
What?
The other side.
No.
Madam, who are you looking for?
Damn! Where's my son?
Sorry, Mrs. Devil.
Boss is in the toilet.
What?
Mom.
You know that I have been suffering from constipation.
And I can only do it once in 100 years.
And you called me for that
I can't go on with it.
I don't care.
We are devils, we don't have to be so courteous.
We just have to be as bad as possible.
I was.
You are wasting your time every day.
We are devils, we have to do one bad thing a day.
Did you do it today?
Didn't you see that just now?
I was reading porno magazine while I was shitting.
Isn't that bad?
You think so?
There are many girls are here, did you pinch any of them?
You have to look beyond the surface.
I just used my magic
to gloss them over.
But appearances are determined by personality.
If you knew
their real nature...
I wanna ask,
do you dare pinch them?
No.
What is this about?
Well, son.
You gotta help us by doing something proud.
Head to the human world.
You can cheat, buy, or whatever.
Just bring some souls back to hell.
That would give us face.
Come on, I am the son of hell.
Asking me to work? I'd rather die instead.
I am over thousand years of age.
You think you are filial for following me around here and there?
I hate hearing that.
I will do something big to show you.
Fang.
Yes.
Ass.
You haven't touched me for so long, asshole.
I don't want to have to go to the human world.
No way.
Do you dare not going?
I will out off your tail and downgrade you to a zombie.
Choi.
Choi, you are so damn ugly.
I don't want to be a zombie, I want to be a handsome guy.
It's all on your decision.
I don't want to be the female lead...
They bullied me, they...
Electric shocked the armpit and bullied your boyfriend.
Who would dare to bully you?
What did you say?
You are not that drunk.
I am so unhappy, can I bite you?
Well!
Love is interesting.
Master, which floor are you going to?
Human world.
That's rare.
Yeah.
Don't think that I touched you.
Are you ok?
It's ok.
(Human world)
Exercise if you find the time, you're flabby.
It's not that terrible in the human world.
I just gotta look for some fun.
(Serious illness. Feeding a big family.)
(We are hungry. Need Help.)
Sis, don't be upset.
I'll give you $5.
Li Ka Shing gives out money.
Really?
Get my clothes at 3.
Go buy chicken at 4.
Get medicine with my mom at 5.
Pick up at the office at 6.
Then go with me to buy sanitary napkins.
Can you remember what I said?
Can you repeat it?
If you can't remember, don't ever talk to me again.
One question, does this handbag suit me?
Yes.
Was I talking to you? Did I say you are forgiven?
Yes, and no you didn't.
Dare to talk back?
That girl is fierce.
If I was her boyfriend, I'd rather die.
I won't care about you.
Really?
He is my target.
Enchanted crane.
Hi mom,
Single-leg crane.
Honey, you are back.
The meal is almost ready.
Crane looks for food.
Hey...
I bought many things today.
Honey. We are having barbeque tonight, I bought a new oven.
What the hell! The meal is ready.
It doesn't look normal.
Dare to talk back?
Do you mind? Someone is here.
It's ok, they used to be like that.
I will get changed first.
Sis.
Why did you wear my clothes?
You used my lipstick also.
But you even wore my underwear.
- Let's eat. - Barbeque.
Get started.
What's up?
- What do you want now? - Are you unhappy?
- Barbeque. - What?
You hit me...
you are so evil for pulling my hair
Are you mad about that? Right here?
It's like hair-removal.
Very tired today. What's for dinner tonight?
Future son-in-law, the meal is almost ready.
What meal? I haven't even used my weapon yet.
Weapon?
Honey, get my weapon.
Yes.
Please go or I will call the police. I have nothing to say.
Why did you hurt my face? Which newspaper are you from?
Ben is such an asshole.
- He is the worst... - No photos!
- Amongst the rich. - No photos!
Done so fast.
Lucky there's a healthy drink.
Get some rest.
You don't have to bother.
Why?
In the report, I wrote that Super died
out of rashness.
Suspended for a month.
You don't have to thank me.
You ruined my record,
so I won't have the chance to join G4 then?
How can you join G4 with your shortness?
Everyone in G4 is as tall as Yao Ming.
But Yao Ming didn't join G4.
I am about to retire.
It's either you or me taking the blame.
Do you want...
me to have a bad ending to my career?
Stop doing that, I can't stand it.
You can stand it with your girlfriend though.
Your girlfriend is having an affair with an actor.
It's a $20 magazine, give it back to me.
Go ahead and have an affair...
Do you think I can't live on without you?
I would be better off without you.
I can enjoy a lustful life.
I wanna sleep around and I wanna be bad.
I wanna be as bad as possible.
Ha...
What would you like, sir?
Vitasoy on the rocks, please.
Ok.
After I met you,
I am no longer interested in other guys.
Really?
Of course.
When will you bring me home to see your mom?
We've just met for an hour, so soon?
It's alright.
If possible...
I would give it everything I got
to get true happiness
and love too.
Bloody Mary.
Miss.
You interested in an one night stand?
Ladyboy?
You ladyboy.
Just looking at my body,
You can tell I'm your devil boss.
You will become a devil if I kill you.
Change!
How's that? Do you believe that I am the devil?
I don't.
You really don't believe me?
- Ah... - Hey...
Can't move?
Ah, believe me now?
You're just a magician at best.
Magician?
Granny.
Baby, go home first.
What do you think?
I'm starting to believe that you are the devil.
What?
Uncle.
No...
I believe you are the devil.
You don't have to prove it anymore.
- Feel great? - Yeah.
Great? Go home and take care of your grandchild then.
Hey, let's talk.
If you are the devil that means I about to die.
Ok, I am ready for that.
Kill me.
Why should I?
You have never done anything bad in your life.
You will go to heaven if I kill you.
That won't benefit me.
What do you want then? I've already hit rock bottom.
I know that, so I came to help you out.
Sell me your soul and be a devil with me.
Then you can bully others.
Sell you my soul? No way.
Why not?
What's so special about a soul?
Can you see it? Where is it?
You wouldn't know even if you dropped it.
If you sell me your soul,
I can grant you 3 wishes.
You can do whatever you want.
After 13 days of fun, you give me your soul.
Do anything I want?
Anything.
Well...
Come on.
I will give you one more wish for free.
Enough?
Give me your thumb.
Come on.
Congratulations.
13 days of enjoyment will now begin.
What do you want for your first wish?
I want to have a girlfriend.
She should be kind and considerate.
Beautiful, sexy, and hot.
That's easy.
Your first wish will soon be fulfilled.
Just call out my name, "Vincent" if you need anything.
I will be there right away.
Magic.
Hello.
My name is Juicy.
As I first saw you,
I knew that you are the man of my heart.
Mr. Juicy...
I like drinking Mr. Juicy when I was small.
I will be your girlfriend from now on.
It's so crowded here.
Let's go to my place and have some grapefruit juice.
Grapefruit juice?
Damn shorty!
Don't bite my nose.
Your place? You live alone?
Guess.
Help!...
Someone is hurt, where's my pistol?
Help!
Ha...
Let me grant you power.
Ha...
Honey, you are back.
Daddy
This is my boyfriend, Johnny Doo.
Hello, auntie and uncle. I am a cop.
My instincts told me you were in trouble.
We used to be so happy.
My neighbors always call the police.
Suddenly your dad...
wants to have curry chicken.
So I spread it over my body for him to eat.
And to make love also.
We used to enjoy sex
and our way of life.
Our family is very open.
It's obvious.
It seems that you guys haven't had supper yet.
Let me cook something nutritious for them.
Hold it...
Are you hungry?
Auntie.
You don't have to, auntie.
By the way, start kissing if you are bored.
A kiss a day, your period will stay.
Mom's toy?
Sausage?
Egg plant?
Egg mixer?
Electric egg mixer?
Auntie should be a good cook.
Where's the washroom?
At the back.
I will get changed.
Ok.
Get me a towel, handsome.
Are you ok?
It's painful when I pee.
Mom said
if one feels pain when taking peeing, one would do great in bed.
Of course.
Who is she?
My dad's lover, his 1st mistress.
He likes playing hide and seek.
I also know the rest of them.
2nd mistress.
3rd mistress.
And...
4th mistress.
Why you! how did you find me here?
1,2,3,4
What the hell is this?
Uncle is really passionate.
He has so many mistresses.
You pressed the bell so I came out naked.
I feel a chill now, excuse me.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
It's cold out there.
You are welcome.
Pal, it's really cold.
Thanks.
Pal.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Japanese?
Those are my mom's boyfriends.
United Nations?
The supper is ready!
Have some soup first.
Honey, tell your boyfriend to join us for supper.
Your girlfriend is here too.
Yes.
Honey, let's have supper.
Hey, everybody. Let's party.
What party?
Naked party of course.
We are all naked. You'd get naked too,
- come on. - No...
I don't wanna get naked... I don't need to party...
I can't handle that.
OK. Follow me
Hello.
You look so happy today?
- Really? - Beaming with satisfaction.
Really?
You won the Mark 6 jackpot?
No.
You had an affair?
No, it's change of season.
Change of season?
- What happened? - Sir.
Something happened at the parking lot.
Gotta go check it out.
Of course.
Life is full of hope.
Sir. I feel great today.
Yeah.
I gotta check on my car.
See if she messed up my car or not.
Sorry, sir.
I won't let her... interfere with our duty.
Put it on...
You... put it on...
Put it on...
Put it on first...
I wanna wash this one too.
That's not mine
Let's go.
Come on.
It'd be nice if she comes here to wash the cars every day.
Hello
Hi
Attention!
- It's crowded today... - Yeah.
Cut the crap, let me introduce.
She's my girlfriend, Juicy.
- Hi. - Hi.
Just like her name.
Your girlfriend is great.
I am not that picky.
Why are we go out for drink today?
Peter broke up with her girlfriend.
We're trying to cheer him up.
Peter, let me give you some comfort.
This round on my treat.
Hold it, I wanna go out for another round.
Juicy
Wait for me here.
They are all cops.
It's safe here.
- Don't worry. - Of course.
I gotta go, Juicy.
Go ahead...
Beer...
What the hell!
Sorry.
What the hell!
Sorry.
What the hell!
Sorry? You have a lover too?
What the hell!
It's here. What are you guys doing?
Wait for me, I am almost done.
You told me to wait.
He's jilted and he's your friend.
I am helping you to give him comfort.
You are giving him comfort, who's gonna give me comfort?
I will give you more after this.
Who do you think you are?
But I am still sad.
Vincent!
Come on, I am taking a shower.
What do you want?
Why would my girlfriend be like that?
There are people here, stop doing that.
What's wrong with your girlfriend?
You want your girlfriend to be sexy, beautiful, and hot.
But not be hot for anyone else though.
It's like that cause she's so hot.
You should have said that she would only be hot for you.
What am I gonna do then?
But you still have 3 wishes.
I'd rather die then.
You will.
But you still have 3 wishes.
It'd be a waste if you don't use it.
You better think.
Then I want my girlfriend...
to be innocent, pure
and love only me.
And her father would be as rich as Li Ka Shing.
Is that ok?
Don't look down upon yourself, the main point is...
what you think.
So pure...
So real...
Hi.
What's your name?
QQ.
Do you like me?
Yes.
Will you bully me?
How would I?
Then... play with me.
What you wanna play?
I wanna hold hands
ls your father a car dealer?
His friends gave it him. He doesn't drive it though.
You can pick one.
Ok.
This one then.
I have never driven a convertible before.
I'll ask Dad to give it to you.
Let's go... Let's go... Shopping...
I had never...
received any gift from my girlfriends before.
Thank you.
Miss, you are back.
I need a shower.
Let me prepare the water for you.
I am really happy today, thank you.
But... I really want to take a shower now.
How about we bathe together?
Come on! Come on!
Though I am a naive young man...
your wish is my command!
Wanna a lollipop?
Do you have any "pop-rocks"?
Hey pal.
I have raised my daughter up and you're taking advantage of her.
Really?
You haven't greeted me, who do you take me for?
Uncle...
I recognize you.
You are the shortest and the most destructive cop
in all of Kowloon district, Johnny Doo, right?
Uncle, you look quite familiar also.
He's one of the most brilliant leaders within the triads...
Driller.
The police force
has sent 100 undercover agents to collect information.
But not one has ever returned.
Looks like... they are already dead.
You are the 13th generation leader of
the Armstrong Association, Driller?
That's me.
And she is...
She's my daughter.
I have already bought a pair of
diamond engagement rings for you two.
Try to relax.
If you marry my daughter, you'll be able to witness that every clay.
You'll also have lots money to throw around.
Sorry, I am a cop.
Many undercover cops are here everyday.
But I want to get a cop to work undercover for me.
You are the best choice.
Go to hell!
You have no choice.
Otherwise, I will sue you for sexual assaulting a minor.
She's taller than me though!
I have proof from a doctor confirming her IQ is that of a seven-year-old girl.
A cop raping a retarded girl and getting her pregnant.
Minimum jail sentence of 8 to 10 years.
She can't get pregnant from holding hands.
Of course I'll find a way to frame you.
QQ, kiss him.
Kiss, kiss.
Don't catch a cold!
Got it.
Kiss your ass goodbye!
I don't mind that...
but can you tell her to stop licking me instead!?
Honey. Kiss the other side then.
- I believe in democracy! - It tickles!
I give you one day to think it over.
Just don't make me angry.
Okay?
Well, you have fun here.
I have some other things to take care of.
I got you, asshole.
Boss.
We discovered that he was stealing from you.
What was he stealing?
Boss, he stole your feather?
Stole my feather?
He stole your bird's feather...
and let his daughter use it as pen.
- I am just trying to earn a living. - Well...
Earn a living?
Give me a chance, ok?
If I give you a chance?
Then I will have nothing to play with.
Ha...
You two stop playing with the flashlight!
Bob, Ken.
Ha...
No...
Help... Help...
We have a traitor among us.
What?
A mole.
Look at him,
he walks like a woman.
Sir.
Everyone is
looking at me funny today...
What's going on, sir?
I know why.
You can go ahead and tell me, sir.
You came back here on your vacation time.
You must be up to something.
No, sir.
- Congratulations. - Thanks...
You married Driller's daughter and you are his undercover now.
Look at you!
At least eighty percent likeness to Andy Lau!
No wonder he told you to go undercover!
I really don't look like Andy Lau, sir!
I got message from my email, and your photo is all over Weibo
with all reports saying that you are Driller's son-in-law.
That's not true, sir.
Just admit it.
Everyone here knows about this.
I think you better resign.
Please return your pass and pistol.
Sir.
I really am a good cop.
It's useless to hold on to me.
I am no traitor.
I'm peeing.
Please trust me, sir...
Great... Don't stop!
I hate being interrupted when I am peeing.
Why did you stop, sir?
Feels great.
Did you drank a lot?
I'm like this everynight.
Let me help you.
Ok.
It's funny.
You only have 2 hands.
But it seems like you have 3 hands doing it.
Feels great.
Ming.
Officer Johnny.
I didn't offend you, did I?
Let me ask you.
Am I a good cop?
You used to be.
But now everyone knows...
you are Driller's son-in-law.
I did support you
on the internet.
I really going crazy here...
I didn't.
I don't care.
Give me some information.
Will that change what everyone thinks about me.
Psycho! How am I supposed to have information for you?
You won't give me?
It's not that I won't,
I really don't have any information.
What the hell?! You giving or not...
- You giving or not... - Police brutality.
- You giving or not... - Beating someone to death.
You giving or not...
Even if you killed me, I still don't have any!
Time for my master move.
Vincent!
Buddy...
Please don't call me during times of embarrassment again, ok?
But I just started.
I don't care, I need to use one wish.
I want him to give me some information.
I want to contribute!
Just give him some information.
Do you think I would be afraid
of a fat magician?
Then are you scared of zombies?
Choi!
You afraid?
Do you think I would be scared of
a kinky drug addict?
- There are lots of them in the rehab. - Don't move.
Stay away from me. I am gonna kill him.
How?
Nice and strong.
Don't bother.
Ming.
You made a big fortune recently.
You do have a few million dollars in your account.
How else would I be a gangster?
Which button should I press for money transfer?
Here.
Where's my money?
It's missing.
You are not afraid of ghost or zombies...
but are you afraid of being poor?
That, I'm afraid of!!! No!!!
- Please give me my money back. - Then tell him any information you have.
Otherwise, you're not getting your money back.
Ok ok ok...
Officer Johnny.
I did hear something.
A person from Thailand, Driller's partner...
bought in a large amount of cocaine.
And hid it at Driller's pier.
Knowing that the police might get him.
Driller's pier...
Sir...
Are you gonna give my money back now?
If I am that honest, would I still be the devil?
If you don't get out of here,
you are gonna lose something else.
Do you feel it getting smaller?
My pee-pee... pee-pee...
Come on.
You let Johnny go after the Thai,
it's dangerous.
He will probably be dead before the 13th day.
He will go to heaven all the same.
Thanks for reminding me.
No, I can fly.
There's enough time.
Come on, spread your legs.
What are you doing?
I told you before, but you never understand.
You too.
No one understands what I am saying.
Hurry Hurry
Boss
Be careful.
Hurry. Hurry.
Boss
Bob, Ken.
You are so interested in spraying things here.
- Hello Thai. - Hello Thai.
Give the money to Driller for me.
Tell him that we're going to make a big fortune.
- Thanks. - Thanks.
Interesting, keep going.
- Really? - Really?
No problem.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
It's great.
I am gonna make a big contribution.
Jumping. Jumping
Go down and see what's going on.
Yes.
Where is my pistol?
Let's go out and kill him.
How, boss?
Need help?
I think...
I only have one wish left.
Yes. How could I let you die within 13 days?
Of course I will help you.
With you here, I'm afraid of nothing!
Nothing bad will happen!
Great.
Jumping again.
Ready? Kill him when he comes out.
What are you doing? I can't see.
You can't see with those glasses on?
Yeah, sorry.
I'll do it again.
Go ahead, what are you doing?
Yes.
No reason for getting so excited.
Excitement is coming.
Wasted the cocaine...
Ha...
Excitement is coming.
Wasted the cocaine...
I'm really tired.
Who is your father?
Who are you guys?
You Thais are really something.
You can see me?
(Vietnamese) From now on...
You are speaking Vietnamese.
Yes.
You are a bad guy and I am a devil.
You should pay me more respect.
I believe in the Thai god.
It's different from you, foreign devil.
Disrespectful.
Then make your move!
What is that?
Flying vegetables!
I will show you what Chinese dish looks like!
Dragon-Tiger-Phoenix hot pot!
Is it yummy?
Yeah.
Time for my ultimate move.
- What? - Welcome.
Why so nice?
Do I need to take off my pants? Hands off my butt.
Triple folding
No way!
Broken Bridge
What?
Double Wings
Mom.
Punk! You suck!
Help!
This sucks!
Stop scolding me and give me a hand.
Do you know what's the major
competitor of a hands-on Thai massage?
What?
Massage chair.
What?
This chair has a special function.
The happy ending.
Don't say that I didn't help you.
Mom, I love you.
Mom is the best
- and that's my mom. - Psycho!
Couldn't tell by looking at you, but you really can eat.
How awesome am I? I solved a big case.
Why don't you go and get your commendation?
Everybody listen.
You can't run away.
Put down your weapon and surrender.
Officer Wong, I am going for my commendation.
Watch out.
Sir, I made a big contribution this time.
Sir.
Yes.
What am I doing here?
Handsome.
What? Don't you recognize me?
The sissy in white.
Since I saw you last time,
I know we will meet again very soon.
Am I dead?
Congratulations, you are dead.
This is my card.
My name is Jim.
You can call me Angela Jimmy.
Come with me for registration.
Don't touch him, he's mine.
Asshole!
What are you doing? What do you want?
What? Wanna steal my business?
Bullshit!
Don't be mad,
I have his name on my "sky-pad".
What "sky-pad"?
Look.
Steve invented this after he came here.
Steve Jobs?
Steve Jobs.
See, his name is here too.
So what?
What's so special about your "pad"?
At least you have an ass...
I will kick your ass.
You wanna come to heaven with me?
Or go to hell with him?
I wanna be a human.
That's right, you still have 8 days of being a live man.
Really?
You are dead.
Look!
It's flattened.
Look at yourself.
Your body.
It can't be used, it's a mess.
Why are you crying?
You still have one wish.
Yeah, but how can I use it?
Reincarnate into another body.
Find a recently deceased person then posses his body.
And use it for 8 more days.
You can be a human again.
Yeah...
You are breaking a great spiritial law!
Damn it! Laws are inflexible.
I'll just go for God's reinterpretation.
Yes, God's reinterpretation.
Ok.
You gotta be careful.
Keep this card properly.
Just call me if you need anything.
I gotta go.
You better go.
If you don't,
I will sue you for sexual assault.
Go get a dead body and make your last wish.
I want to be rich, tall and handsome...
Anything you wish!
Shit! That's easy.
You're not messing with me are you?
You are my client, you can have whatever you wish.
Can I get a preview of my funeral first?
You know, it's once in a lifetime.
I will have no way back.
Just give me one for free.
(Johnny Doc's funeral)
La...
Hey!
So many empty seats.
You don't have many friends.
Officer Wong really cares about me.
Really?
I lost my bet in Race 3...
And I lost in Race 7 too...
Johnny, it's your fault...
Why did you have to die on racing day?
As a senior officer...
I have to at least pretend to cry.
The worst part is that I can't go to the track.
Attending guests.
Sorry, Johnny.
I used to bully you
because I got bullied at TV station.
So I always felt unhappy.
I know you care about me.
I really know that.
And I feel so distressed by your passing.
In fact,
I have been saving up your money
and refunding everything that you've bought me,
so you could quickly save up enough to marry me.
The media claims I had an affair.
But those are the stills a TV series, I was framed.
I will never need another boyfriend.
And I won't film anymore kissing scenes.
You are patient with me and my temper.
I am so sorry.
You are the only love of my life.
And I will never love another.
Don't be sad.
She's been in love with me the whole time...
while I was fantasizing about having other girlfriends.
I am so bad.
It's not that bad.
Every guy thinks about that.
You are about to become a devil, so it makes sense.
No way, I have to reincarnate.
I have to get her back.
I won't let anyone bully her.
I got mail, better check it first.
Good news for you.
A rich guy just died.
Let's queue up.
You posses his body once he dies.
Really?
He's the one.
He looks healthy, is he really dying?
Of course, or I wouldn't have brought you here.
How does he die?
He gets killed by an evil couple.
Come with me.
Once he dies, we can share his possessions.
And make a big fortune.
Great.
She's April, but she's not his wife.
This asshole is afraid to share his possessions with his wife.
So he doesn't get married.
He used to pick up these chicks.
And he likes her the most.
The fatty besides him is called Psycho.
His right-hand man.
He only knows how to bet on horses.
They are the perfect evil couple.
I don't know why
I feel so excited after killing him.
I want it so bad...
Baby...
Come here.
Baby, come here.
What do you want?
You are so naughty.
Don't you know that?
When I get excited
that I will need it so badly?
Come on.
Hold it...
Wait till he's dead and buried first.
- No rush. - No, I can't wait.
Come on, baby...
Her boyfriend isn't even dead yet
and she behaves like that.
She really is crazy.
When she gets sent to hell,
I should screw her thoroughly.
Can you be a bit more professional? What should I do now?
Go ahead.
I know, but how?
It's like masturbation, it doesn't need to be taught.
Just go!
I meant how to possess his body.
Do you how to dive?
Your hands should be like this...
Lift your butt.
Like this?
Almost
Ready?
Yes.
Come on.
Hands.
Butt.
Go.
Why do I have to become this asshole?
Is he that scum, Ben?
My legs are much longer now.
But I heard that he's rich
and handsome.
- He's not dead? - He's not dead?
- Shit... - Be quick...
Why isn't he dead?
Why is he still alive?
It should have worked.
Milk scandal.
He is coming down.
Boss.
Honey.
You were not feeling well just now. Are you still feeling ill after your nap?
Of course you want me to feel ill.
Of course not!
Why would I?
You are my right-hand man.
Yes,
Let me ask you.
If I die, how much would my assets be worth?
About 13 billion.
Why would anything happen to you?
Don't lie to me, if you lie to me...
Vincent. I thought you left?
No.
There are dramas in his ipad
that wouldn't be broadcasted in hell.
So I want to finish watching it first.
What are you watching?
A Simple Life.
And this one, Echoes of the Rainbow...
Also, The Founding of a Republic...
Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf.
What would you watch in hell?
Vulgaria...
Ian Kwai Fong...
3D Sex and Zen
Due West: Our Sex Journey
It keeps repeating in 24 hrs.
I am scared I'm going to get revealed.
How would usually I treat them?
One word...
Rascal.
I don't understand.
That's easy.
Use either your mouth or your dick.
Just keep blaming them, it'll be fine.
That's so rude.
Can you be more polite?
If you can see what he used to be
then you will know what rude is.
Boss.
Honey.
Judy has a 4-karat diamond ring.
And mine is so small.
I want one bigger than hers.
5 karat will do just fine then.
Yeah.
5 karat will be fine then.
About 5 million.
5 million.
Stop crying.
Just weep your tears inside yourself.
1 million for a slap.
5 slaps would be 5 karat.
Endure.
2 million.
Laugh.
3 million.
That's enough, you are getting tired.
You think I don't know what you guys did.
Nothing is free!
You slap her
or give me one million
Slap.
What are you thinking?
I can even hire someone to kill you
and dig out your father's tomb.
Dig out my father's tomb?
Really?
3 more slaps, 8 million.
He truly is an asshole.
Where is the humanity?
That's why he got killed.
Where's my girlfriend now?
She's at work in the TV station, being bullied.
Hurry up. It's time to work.
Cissy.
Look at Angel.
A Pretty face?
Heard that the producer
will cast you both as the female lead.
Is she qualified?
Who does she thinks she is?
No way.
Wait for me here.
After you finish your lines,
When you hear thunder, slap her.
- Ok? - Yes.
Ok, stand by.
Ben, you rarely come here.
Not busy today?
They're filming, what are you yelling about?
- No... - Listen.
Are you bearing the young master's child?
No, it's not the young master's...
But the old master's instead.
You are bearing old master's child?
Director said
that I need to hit you when the thunder comes.
I'm really sorry!
Did you see that? Isn't it awesome?
Yeah, every slap so solid.
Cissy.
- Yes, producer. - Yes.
Very good...
Well...
Our major shareholder, Ben, is here.
He said he wants to switch your roles.
That's it.
Why?
He has a crush on Angel.
He said
you can either do it or you will not be working for 3 years.
I will do it.
Just let her slap me though.
Madam, no!
I'm asking you.
Are you bearing young master's child?
No.
It's not the young master's child,
but the old master's instead...
You are bearing old master's child?
You hit me?
No...
It hurts so bad! Take me to a doctor.
Cissy, be careful.
Angel...
Let me introduce.
Our major shareholder, Ben.
He rarely shows up...
He said you will be the female lead.
Which drama are you shooting?
It's the one sponsored by Elegant napkin.
Called "River of Blood".
"River of Blood", sponsored by Elegant napkin.
Anyone can tell that it's a great drama with a name like that.
I won't interrupt you guys.
I like your acting.
Ben noticed my part?
Angel, stand by! We are in a rush.
Get back to your work, I'll buy you a drink after.
No, he is still here.
Look.
That asshole really does likes that chick.
He's crazy about her.
Angel...
Let me give you a ride.
Ben.
Thanks for caring about me.
But my boyfriend just passed away.
I am still not ready
to go out with anyone.
I know, I understand.
If I have to go out
with you just to be the lead,
I'd rather be an extra.
You really like Johnny Doo.
You said it nice and clear.
I like your faithfulness.
Why do you like him?
Don't you understand?
You don't need a reason to love someone.
I love only him.
He has the heart to fight for his dream.
He's kind of silly but I know he honestly cares about me.
I won't love another even if he died.
I won't love another either.
I love only you and I am Johnny Doo.
I have seen many shameless assholes.
But you are the first one
who would curse yourself to be a dead man.
Believe me, I am Johnny Doo.
At first... the devil granted me 4 wishes.
I almost hang out with a beautiful girl
then I bumped into Driller.
And I met the Thai.
Then I got killed.
But I reincarnated
and chased after you.
I really adore you, I really love you.
Don't you understand?
Awesome.
It'd be a pity if you don't win for best screenplay
at the next film awards.
The best screenplay award won't be given to a comedy.
Ben, I am not your cup of tea.
But I only love you.
That asshole.
Really has a crush on her.
Shit, one more share taken from his possessions.
We should kill him as soon as possible.
How?
Don't worry, I have an idea.
Driller.
I have been following you since I first joined the triad.
If you help me this time,
you will get 30%
of what I get from him.
You are really evil.
You are trying to kill your husband
and run away with your lover.
Yeah...
No, it's just the reassigning of wealth and spouse.
Everyone likes money.
I can take over your husband's business.
That's the deal.
I will get 70% and 30% for you.
That's really too much.
No...
- Bob, Ken. - Yes.
- Call Ben for me. - Yes
Don't be like this...
You get 70% and I get 30%, that's ok.
This plan...
will work.
Why?
Why would you do this to me?
Why?
Why doesn't she believe me?
Boss.
Boss, are you ok?
Are you ok, boss?
What is this?
These are your invitations.
What for?
Last week, you said
you wanted to hold a luxurious charity banquet.
And the Chief Executive would also be invited.
Chief Executive?
Then I get to protect the Chief Executive?
Yes! I get to protect Chief Executive!
Can I invite one more girl? Her name is...
I know.
You want to invite Angel.
How do you know?
You want to marry her?
Everyone knows that.
So?
Ok, boss...
Be cool...
I can't let Angel know that I have no manners.
I have to let her know...
that's it's me.
That leech, Ben wasted all our money.
Honey.
You shouldn't be cheated by him.
Don't take it.
No way.
Get as much as you can.
Just be a girlfriend, not asking you to marry him.
If he tries to do anything to you, I will kick his ass.
You are a greedy woman.
You are broke for being so stubborn.
You wanna get beaten up?
Beaten?
Mom and dad, stop that.
Sister.
I think you should explain to him clearly.
Don't give him any chances.
Ok?
You are experienced.
Honey, you have to go?
You shouldn't dress shabbily.
Wear this dress.
Just wear this dress.
Don't take anything, return that to him.
- This is great. This is great. - Take this away also.
I have to talk to him.
My...
It's so cold, why are you sitting here?
What should I say to my girl tomorrow?
What?
Girlie stuff is so straight forward.
If she likes you,
you don't have to do anything.
If she doesn't like you,
no matter what you do, it'd be useless.
That's right.
In fact, I do envy you.
Why?
You have a girl who really loves you.
You have got many though.
I do have many girlfriends, but no one really loves me.
Then why are they hanging out with you?
They just love having sex with me. Damn it.
I do wish to be like you do.
You found your true love.
It's innate. You don't have to be jealous.
As for being a devil...
you are not that bad.
As for being a human,
although you are silly,
you can still be a friend.
Don't you have friends?
None.
Well.
Being a good guy is so corny...
don't you mind being teased by others?
Am I corny?
Absolutely.
You always fool around with different girls.
Don't you get sick of that?
I do. But I don't like guys.
What can I do?
You sure?
I've done it with 2 guys before.
Everybody.
I am your reporter, Yummy.
I am now
at the charity banquet.
Tonight, this charity banquet
is held by the
notorious business tycoon,
Ben Chik.
He has been acting abnormal lately.
He keeps donating huge sum to charity every day.
He did say he would donate 1 billion
to our Chief Executive to set up the "Chinese Handicapped Fund"
at this banquet tonight.
It's really nice of him.
Look at him.
Is he waiting for that girl?
But I am scared.
You are useless, coward.
Come on, we are going to kill someone.
Tonight.
It's either he dies or you die.
Either he dies or I die?
You have the advantage.
Ah, come on.
Please don't talk so loud.
Sorry...
There are booths of different charity associations
showing their works to the Chief Executive.
There are drawings from the orphanage.
There are crops from the elderly.
And there are sculptures from the Helping Hand.
And also the latest scientific findings from the students
of agricultural department.
They could turn feces into cakes.
I think our Chief Executive will arrive soon.
We will keep you updated.
Ange, good to see you here.
Yes, I have something to tell you
Follow me.
What do you want?
I have something to show you.
Come on.
I have to talk to you.
Everything that I said
is all true.
What do you mean?
No one has ever given me such pain.
Jingle bells, Jingle bells. Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride. In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, Jingle bells. Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride. In a one horse open sleigh
Angel...
What are you doing?
Do you remember?
Get your clothes at 3.
Buy a chicken at 4
Get the medicine with your mom at 5.
Pick you up at your office at 6.
Buy sanitary napkin with you.
We first met on April Fools' Day
And I was sent to hospital from you hitting me on that first day.
At Mid-autumn Festival,
you badly hurt my butt.
At Double-Ninth Festival,
we went to pay respect to my ancestor
and you pushed me off the mountain.
At Christmas,
you told me to disguise myself as Santa Claus, Saint Mary,
and Xmas tree.
On Valentine's Day, when we first kissed
and you hurt my lips.
Angel...
I am Johnny.
Love needs to be fun
It's you.
Chief Executive. Be careful...
Chief Executive, this way.
Hi.
Boss...
The Chief Executive is here.
Chief Executive.
Hi.
Chief Executive.
Dr. Chik.
Dr. Chik?
Boss, did you forget that you bought
a PhD 2 months ago?
Thank you so much.
You have donated 1 billion.
There are many other things...
much more important than money.
Chief Executive.
This is my girlfriend, Angel.
Hi.
Let's go in first.
Ok.
Chief Executive.
You look better in person than on TV.
Girlfriend.
Girlfriend? Then who am I?
Cheers...
Everybody cheers...
buddy
Congratulations, that girl likes you too.
Thank you, bottoms up!
Watch out.
It's the 13th night.
After 12,
your soul would be mine.
No way, there should be a few days left.
You didn't notice the days passing.
You did sign the agreement, I can't do anything about that.
Sorry.
You will have a pre-destined disaster today.
Ha...
Assassination?
Let's hide
Protect the Chief!
Run! Chief Executive!
Get down.
Danger, Chief Executive!
You go first.
Jump!
Chief Executive!
It's dangerous here! Go back!
Chief Executive.
Run...
Run! Chief Executive.
Durian?
Run! Chief Executive.
Chief Executive.
Chief Executive, are you ok?
I am bleeding.
Stop the bleeding.
Chief Executive.
Chief Executive, is the bleeding stopped?
You made a mistake.
It's getting worse.
Stop the bleeding.
Chief Executive.
Has the bleeding stopped?
It really works, you better try it.
Chief Executive, you have a very stressful job.
You try it at home.
Officer Wong.
You help Chief Executive to leave...
Don't worry, I am much better than you.
Chief Executive.
Chief Executive, are you alright?
Please.
Don't try saving anymore
He's speaking dirty words.
He's got my vote.
What you wanna do?
I cannot fail!
That assassin failed...
I will do it myself!
Officer Wong, leave with Chief Executive first.
You are so fierce.
What else did you think I was?
Get lost!
Let him die.
You mother sucked.
I quit.
Shit!
What are you doing?
Sorry...
Are you ok?
A bit painful.
Wrap it up.
No more time.
Who is he?
You can see him?
Yes.
He's a devil.
I sold my soul to him.
I have to leave with him at 12.
No way...
I don't want it...
No...
Let go of him.
Or I will bring you down also.
- Don't go. - Let's go.
Devil Vincent.
Damn sissy.
Don't lay hands on him.
We signed an agreement, he won't go to heaven with you.
I know.
I am not trying to bring him to heaven, I am here for you.
What the hell?
Why should I go with you?
Damn it!
You...
You did save Johnny.
You have done good deeds.
A devil who would do good deeds.
You have been upgraded to heaven.
Upgraded?
Your talents
would be wasted in hell.
Close the door!
Come to heaven with me.
Open the door!
Help! Mom!
I don't want to go to heaven!
I want to be a bad guy, I miss my girls...
I want my threesome!
Vincent!
You will have lots of benefits in heaven.
Housing allowance, no-interest loan...
Everyday is holiday.
Also...
The girls in hell are lousy.
How do you know that?
Don't bother.
Look at our angels.
Hi.
Come on.
Good quality.
Of course.
Can I use dirty words up there?
Not too loud.
Can I screw those girls?
Not too hard.
So long, mom.
What a pity! But I got two new assistants
Where are we?
We are dead.
No way? So soon?
Ha...
What should I do then?
The one who signed the contract with you got transferred.
Your agreement is no longer valid.
You can stay in human world to suffer.
I gotta go.
See me fly.
I feel like having a dream.
Whether it's dream or not,
long as we are together, we will be fine.
But...
Can you stop hitting me?
I won't hit such a handsome guy.
I am so handsome now.
I have to make it clear.
You don't mind me being too long?
Ok, no problem.
Heaven is great.